Ladies thread's

[DerbyCtyChic]

Originally Posted by her ladyship

I've always had the tummy and been hairy so no change there

Do you do anything for facial hair...i've had to start using one of those battery operated thingys that rip out your facial hair...so embarrasing!

[her ladyship]

Originally Posted by DerbyCtyChic

Do you do anything for facial hair...i've had to start using one of those battery operated thingys that rip out your facial hair...so embarrasing!

OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

I use those hair removal creams but I find as the years roll by (get the violin out now)it isn't as bad.

[labr_ollie]

Originally Posted by DerbyCtyChic

Well thats cheared me up Ollie

Now where did i put that gun?

Glad to be of help-seriously though, I didn't meanto make you sad, just being 'open' and honest

[icemaiden]

i am glad to see so many of you joining in thank you

my cheeky brother brought me back a fan from china it is very beautiful
i can cope with the hot flashes if it wasn't for the shivers you get when it is over





SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT BE EXPERIENCING MENOPAUSE



* You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. (Hot flashes)

* The person you sleep with complains about snow piling up on the bed. (Nightsweats)

* Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. (Mood swings)

* You write post-it notes with your kid's names on them. (Memory loss)

* Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home." and you reply, "Well, if it isn't Ozzie f*cking Nelson". (Irritability)

* The phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest. (Sleeplessness)

* You find Guacamole in your hair after a Mexican dinner. (Fatigue)

* You change your underwear after every sneeze. (Mild incontinence)

* You need Jaws Of Life to help you out of your car after returning home from an Italian restaurant. (Sudden weight gain)

* You ask Jiffy Lube to put you up on a hoist. (Dryness)

* You take a sudden interest in "Wrestlemania". (Female hormone deficiency)

* You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales. (Hormone therapy)

[icemaiden]

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big bloody red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

[icemaiden]

Why God Created Menopause
This is why God invented menopause.......

With all the new technology regarding fertility, a 65 year-old woman gave birth to a baby. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.

"May we see the new baby?" one asked.

"Not yet," said the 65 year-old mother, "Soon."

Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"

"Not yet," said the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see the baby now?"

"No," replied the mother.

Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when CAN we see the baby?"

"WHEN IT CRIES," she told them.

"WHEN IT CRIES??" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until it CRIES??"

"BECAUSE, I forgot where I put it..."

[her ladyship]

[icemaiden]

[Minx]

Following a hysterectomy at 38 my menopause came early and with vengence. the mood swiings were dreadful but OH knew when to keep away and keep his mouth shut. Headaches took the place of monthlies, that was a miserable time. Anyway I'm out the other side now but have suddenly started looking at womens faces and expecting to wake one morning with more wrinkles than a shriveled prune. I am fairly free of lines etc but as my Dear Mother says " when you have a fat face they don't show the same" . I thought she loved me...............

[her ladyship]

My youngest grandson asked me last night if I was putting my crinkle cream on

ahhh BLESS HIM