A little joke!

**Adam** · #1 (**permalink**) 04-06-2008, 02:08 PM

A Glasgow senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out of the car showroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90 mph enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. 'Amazing!' he thought as he flew along the M8, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car coming up behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. 'I can get away from him - no problem!' thought the elderly Stirling Moss as he floored it to 110 mph, then 120, then 130 mph. Suddenly, he thought, 'What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!'
So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch-up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm heading off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.'

The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, “Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back”

“Have a good day, Sir, and drive carefully!” said the policeman.

**Amy-Hols** · #2 (**permalink**) 04-06-2008, 02:11 PM

Excellent I like it!

Discovery · #3 (**permalink**) 04-06-2008, 03:10 PM

Good one!

sexyeyes · #4 (**permalink**) 05-06-2008, 03:38 PM

2 Finalists in a poetry competition and they were given the word TIMBUKTU to use in the poem. 1st finalist: "Slowly cross the desert sand, trecked a lonely caravan, men on camels 2 by 2, destination TIMBUKTU.
Irish finalist: Me and Tim a hunting went, met 3 whores in a pop up tent, they was 3 and we was 2, so I bucked one and TIMBUKTU....

Bunny · #5 (**permalink**) 05-06-2008, 07:16 PM

...kin excellentlaughed out loud at both of those...brilliant.

sexyeyes · #6 (**permalink**) 05-06-2008, 09:42 PM

Old lady visits dentist, sits on chair, lowers her panties and lifts up legs.
Dentist say's" Im not a gynocologist, she said I know, I want you to take my husbands teeth out.

sexyeyes · #7 (**permalink**) 05-06-2008, 09:47 PM

A medical professor was lecturing his 1st yr students about "Involuntary Muscle Contractions". To liven up the lesson he asked one of the female students, " For example, do you know what your arsehole is doing while your having an orgasm?" She replies, "Probably having a drink with his mates"...

sexyeyes · #8 (**permalink**) 22-06-2008, 05:48 PM

Irishman applying for a blacksmiths job was asked if he had any experience in shoeing horses.
He said no but he once told a donkey to piss off.

sexyeyes · #9 (**permalink**) 22-06-2008, 05:54 PM

2 English tourists driving through Wales. At Llanfairpwlgwyngyllgogerchwrndrob
wyllantysiliogogog, they stop for lunch. 1 of the toursists asks the waitress
"Before we order, could you settle an argument. Can you pronounce where we are
very very very slowly?. The girl leans over and says, "burrr-gurrr-king".

**Jezer** · #10 (**permalink**) 22-06-2008, 10:46 PM

sexyeyes- The Texas version is two businessmen going through the town of Mexia ( Pro My hear).

The waitress says 'Dare EE Queen'