Hypnotherapy - The UK General Discussion Forum
The UK General Discussion Forum  

Go Back   The UK General Discussion Forum > Main Forums > Jokes, Games & Quizzes


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 26-06-2008, 03:13 PM
Sooty's Avatar
Sooty is tuned to music no-one can hear
*****
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Magrathea
Posts: 3,824
Current Mood:
Default Hypnotherapy

A woman comes home and tells her husband, 'Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone.'

'No more headaches?' the husband asks, 'What happened?'

His wife replies, 'Angie referred me to a hypnotist & he told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat,

I do not have a headache

I do not have a headache

I do not have a headache

Well, it worked! The headaches are all gone.'

'Well, that is wonderful' proclaims the husband.

His wife then says, 'You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years, why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?'

Reluctantly, the husband agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife an d carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.'

He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, 'WOW! - that was wonderful!'

The husband says, 'Don't move! I will be right back.'

He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning 'OH MY GOD' she proclaims.

Her husband again says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.'

With that, he goes back in the bathroom.

This time, his wife quietly follows him in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying ....

She's not my wife

She's not my wife

She's not my wife'

…His funeral service will be held Saturday.
__________________
Pone ubi sol non lucet!
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links

You can register to disable inline ads
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 26-06-2008, 09:34 PM
Amy-Hols's Avatar
Amy-Hols is moving house
Moderator
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Never far from my laptop!
Posts: 2,927
Current Mood:
Default

oops!
__________________

Have faith...post and they shall reply...

Join General Chat for free!
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 26-06-2008, 11:35 PM
Jezer's Avatar
Jezer is missing the sun.
Moderator
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: New Forest
Posts: 10,779
Default

Blimey Sooty- you live close to the raggedy edge!
__________________
What's French for croissant?

Join General Chat for free!
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 27-06-2008, 07:57 PM
Bunny is happier today
Top Chatter
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: in my house
Posts: 1,000
Current Mood:
Default

Many a true word...blah blah.

Seriously I wonder just how many people fantasise about someone other than the person they are actually with. A scary thought...imagine the post coital conversation...'Well it was great for me babe...who were you thinking of?'
__________________
Bunny

anyone has the right to be stupid...some just abuse the privilege
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 28-06-2008, 08:34 AM
Jezer's Avatar
Jezer is missing the sun.
Moderator
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: New Forest
Posts: 10,779
Default

This reminds me of the story of Sooty's demise.......

He's standing at the Pearly Gates and St Peter says 'Not so fast!'

Turns out that whilst not having led a perfect life he did have to make amends for certain things that he'd done in his life, and so was committed to Purgatory for a set length of time.

Contrary to popular misconceptions Purgatory consists of a cloud where he was consigned to make continuous lovemaking to an old hag. Sooty took his punishment well, until a while later he saw another cloud with Angelina Jolie and Jezer!

Incensed he put the cloud into reverse and met up with St Peter.

Sooty said 'I know I've been bad, but not that bad and Jezer- well I know one or two things about him that would make your eyes water!'

St Peter listened patiently and then said 'Sooty, you carry out your punishment and let Angelina carry out hers'.
__________________
What's French for croissant?

Join General Chat for free!
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 28-06-2008, 12:54 PM
Bunny is happier today
Top Chatter
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: in my house
Posts: 1,000
Current Mood:
Default

Angelina Jolie eh Jezer...does your wife know?
__________________
Bunny

anyone has the right to be stupid...some just abuse the privilege
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 28-06-2008, 12:59 PM
Jezer's Avatar
Jezer is missing the sun.
Moderator
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: New Forest
Posts: 10,779
Default

TeeHee.

Wonder if I should put my old Avatar back up.

What do you think Sooty?
__________________
What's French for croissant?

Join General Chat for free!
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 28-06-2008, 01:36 PM
Sooty's Avatar
Sooty is tuned to music no-one can hear
*****
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Magrathea
Posts: 3,824
Current Mood:
Default

I liked the horse!
__________________
Pone ubi sol non lucet!
Reply With Quote
Reply



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

SideBar
Sponsored Links

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 06:28 PM.
 


Design by: vBulletin Skins Zone
GeneralChat.co.uk is an Privacy Policy and Legal
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0
Content © GeneralChat.co.uk